My Best Friend's Wedding: The Grooming Process

So as you can tell from the title, my best friend is getting married! I couldn't be happier for her. She found a great man who brings out the best in her, and we all approve of him.

Going back a a week ago when I get the dress I am to wear as a bridesmaid. It's a strapless lavenderish-pinkish number with a little train in the back. David Bridal clearance rack baby! If that doesn't provide an ample visual, think Marilyn Monroe's pink dress she wore for her number "Diamonds are a girls best friend." Remove the big bow in the back and THAT'S my dress. I have the accessories and the hair all planned out. Looks goooood.

Here's the thing. The parts of me that aren't covered by the dress are still kinda Oregon white. Not to mention exfoliation, pedicure, manicure, facial grooming, eyebrows (more so than i usually do)...I'm EXHAUSTED! So here's how it goes:

Morning:
Wake up, whiten teeth.
Shower/exfoliate
Moisturize with Jergen's Tannning Lotion
Work the feet.

Evening:
Work the feet, toes, paint night before wedding.
Moisturize with uber moisturizing lotion.
File down nails so fake nails fit right (i don't keep up on my fingers, so stick on nails for me!).
eyebrows
sleep. repeat process in morning.

Here's the thing about these nails I'm going to wear. I opened them up and read the instructions just so I am prepared the day of the wedding. I'm paraphrasing a little here, but the message is the same:
1)cut nails down. If blood appears, you've cut too far.
2)roughen surface of nail so glue has a place to stick to. Never mind the fact that the glue is the same stuff NASA uses on their equipment.
3)Find the right size nail for your fingers. Just don't touch the glue to your nails until you're ABSOLUTELY sure it will fit. Remember, NASA glue+mistake=pain.
4)After nails are applied, enjoy your new manicure! However, don't expose them to hot water, cold water, tepid water, dirt, oxygen, people....better yet just don't touch anything.
5) To remove nails, soak in very hot water for about 20 seconds. Fake nail, real nail, several layers of skin, and dignity will be fully removed.

The wedding is Tuesday. Wish me luck everyone. I may not survive! I will take pictures though...if my nails will let me.