My adventures in rustic Thanksgiving (aka Thanksgiving without electricity)

No, this doesn't mean that there was a power outage or that we didn't pay a bill on time. About eight months ago Tyrell, Tabatha, and I committed to going on a family gathering on Thanksgiving weekend. This event was to take place at Whiskey Creek in Washington. Since Google doesn't recognize Whiskey Creek as a place that ACTUALLY exists, the best points of reference I can give are that Port Angeles and La Push (locations in the Twilight books) are about 30 miles in both directions. Forks, another Twilight location, is about 50. Yes, we visited those places, but that will come back to play later in the story. Oh, and I'm highly allergic to corn...this will also come back later in the story. Seriously.

Tab, Tyrell, and I all caravaned for the six or seven hour trip up north. We met up later with their parents and the rest of the relatives near the Vancouver, WA area. From there, we were given a set of directions that we were told to follow in case we got lost or lost the leader of the caravan (who was also given the exact same set of directions). Since, I'm convinced, Tyrell's uncle (we'll call him Uncle A) has unspoken fantasies of joining the Ferrari racing team in Italy...we promptly lost him. No problem, we thought, we have directions. We like traveling at a less than NASCAR pace, anyway. Remember those directions? Neither do we. As soon as we lost his Uncle A we were given a text message from his aunt saying that their GPS (why didn't WE think of that?!) is saying to throw the directions out the window with reckless abandon and listen to it's shiny, God-esque omniscient knowledge of our destination...oh, and that it was faster. CRAP! We're supposed to take directions from the ONLY guy with a GPS and who wishes he was Mario Andretti (does that date me? Too old...um...well...insert NASCAR driver of today here___). So here we are, receiving text messages mere 1/4 miles before merging (not anyone's fault...text messages are hard to write quickly and take time to send) onto new highways and making hard rights and lefts onto streets that I'm CONVINCED did not have names. Don't even get me started on rest stops. Don't get me started... At least the family has an awesome sense of humor! So between light grumbles about the situation there were Chuck Norris jokes (are they ever NOT funny?!), a short game of Marco Polo (my doing...OK I started getting a little loopy! Don't judge me...), quips of wit from Tyrell's mom and aunt, and a short eulogy of a seagull that hit the side of Tyrell's aunts car. He shall be missed. Once we got to the check-in cabin I jumped out of the truck, hit the ground deserted-ship man style while simultaneously screaming "LAAAAAAAND!" I would have kissed the ground, but it was sharp and rocky...not to mention dirty. The effect was still received with laughter and agreement. If the aforementioned Aunt and Uncle A get a glance at this, I hope they know that we actually had a ton of fun following them and consider it a bonding experience. Thanks guys!!! :D :D :D

So, unbelievably, we finally made it to our destination. I'm pretty sure if Fauna weren't high on Benedryl (per the vets instructions) she would have gotten car sick in her kennel. Drugs, why didn't I think of that? Now, the details of the cabins we were staying at were somewhat of a mystery to the members of family that hadn't vacationed there for the past two decades. Sources of light, plumbing, and electricity were mysterious elements that we had to plan ahead for by making our dinner contributions the night before. I made green bean casserole. Thank God. I don't cook meat "rustically". That's what men are for. ANYWAY, upon entering our cabin we see that Tyrell and I have the ONLY non working propane oven. Awesome. That's OK, since his family brought enough food to feed everyone for a week (let alone 3 1/2 days) we didn't really need it. Heat, for the room and for the water, was done via wood stove connected to water heater. Creative! Bunk beds and a table completed the rustic ensemble quite nicely. They were actually really cozy and cute!

Dinner consisted of copious amounts of food, wine, and pies. Sweet MERCY were there ever PIES! I thought that was going to be the biggest meal that was consumed all weekend...I was very VERY wrong! Tabatha cooked breakfast the next day. This consisted of about 6 pounds of hash browns, and four pounds of eggs and cheese! It took her four hours to cook, and Kudos to her, she pulled it off very well! Yes, we were feeding 25 people and it all went FAST! I tried not to consume too much since I was still kinda full from the night before. Lunch...HAH! I laughed in the face of lunch that weekend. I didn't need it, nor did I eat it!!! This pattern of food-in-abundance (which we later coined in abbreviation as "DAAAAYAAAMN!") continued all weekend.

Entertainment came in the form of fishing (for some), hiking(for others), shopping, and tourist attractions. Remember the neighboring Twilight locations I mentioned earlier? Tyrell, his brother and dad, Tabatha, her mom, baby and I all piled into vehicles to visit the exact places that the author wrote about. In the books, the main character states how she hates those places because it rains a lot. Talk about truth in literature! Oh wait, we were in Washington...was this REALLY hard to predict? Not really, because it was raining heavily the day that we visited. We passed through Port Angeles on the way to the cabins, so La Push and Forks were last on the list. Forks...not all that exciting, save for the Twilight Gift/Flower/Scrabooking shop (remember, multi-use stores are common in small towns. Thank God there wasn't an airport attached to it...). We took pictures in front of the high school, and did drive by camera shootings of any building or sign with the word 'Forks' on it. Yeah we're silly, but this is HISTORY here, people! I must say that the men took this pretty well, or maybe we were just really good at ignoring their light belly achin'...:D Anyone who has ever been to the Oregon coast, or anywhere on the Pacific Northwest coastline has already (albeit indirectly) been to La Push. It looks exactly the same as the rest of the coastline. There's just a lot of Totem poles and Native American art on buildings as it's part of a reservation. Still, we got out, walked in the rain on the beach, and yes...took pictures. Upon returning the camp site we ate (a lot) and drank (you guessed it...a lot). That night was different because Tyrell and I were finally able to discuss the details of our wedding with those members of the family who were present and involved. Even though it was a short discussion (since the wedding is super duper simple) Tyrell and I felt good knowing that everyone was on the same page and super stoked about it!

The last night there consisted of MORE eating, MORE drinking, and bonding with Tyrell's other uncle whom we asked to get ordained so he can marry us. Totally honored, yet requiring a bit more information about as a couple (and individually), we spent the entirety of his dinner making session talking about us, him, him and his awesome wife (who makes kick ASS brandy slushies), the sermon he was writing (Tyrell and I have homework from him...we're actually very excited to help!), and listening to his sage advice. As head of the family his advice was definitely sage. I adore this man! He is the silent teddy bear type. He doesn't say much, and his presence is known yet non-intimidating, and when he does speak not only do people listen, but they remember EVERYTHING that he says. You have to respect a man like that. We do, and that is why we chose him to marry us. Now, the dinner that he was making was homemade clam chowder. This recipe called for corn, and lots of it. I didn't see the amount that went in, but since I hadn't died yet from small amounts of unknown corn consumption I assumed I was OK to chow down on chowder. Besides, I had less than a bowl full anyway because I was still full from the past THREE days of large meals. I should have been in the clear...right? RIGHT?!

Remember that corn allergy I mentioned earlier? It came back to bite me in the ass later in the form of every kind of purging you can imagine. I spent the last 10 hours of the night bonding with tiny nook that was the bathroom. My stomach hurt, my abs hurt, my throat hurt, I was cold, and there were a few moments where I was holding a bucket while also sitting on the toilet. Too much info, I know, but I've never been one to skimp on story accuracy. I tried drinking water, thinking dehydration...that just gave my body something to purge the minute it hit my digestive tract. So I had to spend my evening doing just that. Purging. The next morning the WHOLE family knew of my plight, and all came to the same conclusion before I even did...corn. Now I have eaten corn bread and popcorn and at the worst gotten itchy and mildly hive-y. Then again, I usually took regular strength Benedryl beforehand or after, too. Tyrell's poor uncle felt bad, but I told him it was no one's fault. Though I knew I was allergic, I hadn't eaten whole corn in so long I just didn't know HOW bad it affected me. Since that was the day we all had to pack up and leave, all I could do was pack my suitcase and watch Tyrell do the rest as I was still, well, you know. The trip back was long and consisted of several pit stops. Not one to whine when his woman was suffering, Tyrell stopped at every stop I asked. I love this man!

When we got home I sat in a heavily Epsom salted bath to relieve my soreness, and was put directly to bed with some soup, water, and direct orders to sleep a LOT. Today, my stomach muscles are still sore (purging hard will do that, ya know), and I'm still dehydrated. But the corn is gone and lessons have been learned. What has been learned? Well:

*Invest in GPS. Go at your own pace. For as much as I ribbed Tyrell's uncle for his caravan leading skills, he actually provided more road trip entertainment than he could have possibly planned for. For that, I am eternally grateful!!!

*Eat lightly when Grove family cooks. Especially since some of them are catering my wedding. Think French sized courses. It'll save your tummy!

*Take a lot of pictures. They're memories. If there's a lot of alcohol involved, you're going to want SOME physical memories...even if YOU don't remember them.

*Ignore the gift shop lady that follows you around like a lost puppy.

*Get to know all family members you are marrying into. Even though the talkative ones are awesome it's very true what they say about the quiet ones. They always pleasantly surprise you.

*Drink more water than you think is necessary.

*Don't do crossword puzzles on windy roads. Bad news bears. Seriously.

*ALWAYS avoid things you are allergic too...even in small doses! If unavoidable, bring Benedryl and Pepto. Borrow your dog's supply, shamelessly, since she was just getting high anyway.

I had a great time on this trip! Despite the purging I have absolutely NO regrets about this trip whatsoever. Only that it was short and I wish I could have talked more with other people (like fast driving Uncle A...another quiet, respected, un-intimidating man whom I'm sure has sage advice for the generations after him),his wife, and their nephews. Can't wait till the next gathering!